I got none of that.

What I got instead was something that is hard for me to describe. There was bullying, name calling, over talking, rudeness, childlike behavior and the list goes on. It was embarrassing and left me feeling like we are really in trouble. I don’t care what side of the aisle you claim–I really don’t. What I saw last night was nothing more than a child trying to be heard and an old man trying to be heard. You can swap them out anyway you want. One struggled to make his point and one did an outstanding job in showing he has no point. Biden gets points for attempting to answer the questions from the moderator. Trump gets points for continuing to be exactly who he has always been. They howled at each other, snapped at each other, and claimed the other had no idea what they were talking about. But they didn’t actually debate anything.

There was no debate winner last night I don’t care what the polls show. The winner should have been the American people. We should have clearly seen someone who cared about what we want. How we feel. Biden may have come the closest to showing that but I have serious questions about him and his health. There were several times where he mumbled over his words;, forget what he was saying and repeated himself; lost his thought in the middle of his thought; and really made me ask if he is healthy enough to even handle the demanding job of being the President. Then there is Trump. I know who that man is, I know what that man stands for. He won’t let you not know because he tweets it enough, he says it enough, even when he isn’t asked the question. But what really stood out to me is the fact that when asked to directly denounce white supremacist, the President of the United States, said “Stand Back and Stand By”.

POTUS, the leader of the free world, said “Stand Back and Stand By”. As a black man, this didn’t come as a surprise to me, because I’ve always known that the President Trump does not care for black people, no matter how many times he says, “I’ve done more for black people than anyone except maybe George Washington”. But to hear him say “Stand back and Stand By” it confirmed that he truly does not care about me, my wife, my children, my friends, my community.

I turned off the debate as they were putting up the polls. I didn’t need to read them to know what they were going to say. I think they needed to add one more category.

Despicable.

I’m sure that number would have been higher than 69%.

But the reason why I say I’m just letting myself go is the other morning I caught myself in the mirror and I did not like what I saw. I haven’t had a haircut in months (my gray is really showing). I’ve put on a few pounds that I’m now trying to get rid of. I think my desk is getting closer and closer to the refrigerator.

What is happening here?

Who else is letting themselves go? Come on I know I’m not the only one.

P.S. – the 11 pounds I had lost before the pandemic, I’ve gained back. I’m scared to actually think about how much more I’ve gained.

There are black patrol officers, black detectives, black FBI agents, black Secret Service Agents, black forensic scientist, black medical examiners, black judges, black lawyers, black private investigators, black people in all areas of law enforcement. So if all these jobs have black people then why wouldn’t there be stories that reflect all of these people? Why wouldn’t readers want to read these stories that feature these people who work in these areas?

You’d think by now that publishers, journalists and the media-at-large would throw marketing budgets and provide outlets for writers of color. But today, crime writers are still predominately white-led. Men and women of color don’t seem to rate a mention unless it is a mention by the same men and women of color who are mentioning themselves.

We know crime. We can write crime. We can string together an interesting plot with plenty of twists. We can have law enforcement officers chasing criminals across several states. We can write psychological thrillers. We can write the stories that readers will want to read.

So KTR, what exactly are you saying?

I’m saying that we have stories to tell.

I have stories to tell.

Stories that I will continue to write.

Stories that will always feature black people in various roles.

Crime stories.

Over the years I’ve bounced between several series ideas. What I worked on for that particular moment was largely dependent on how I was feeling at any particular stage. Lately, with what the world has been going through, I’ve found myself focusing on a series that has more of a political edge to it. Part of the reasoning I found myself concentrating more on this series was due to all of the racial unrest happening across the world.

The main character in this political series is a fixer. And right now as I watch the news cycles, twitter feeds, and Facebook postings, I want to fix things. Fix things in a way where the people who throw back All Lives Matter whenever someone says Black Lives Matter. Fix things when someone says Make America Great Again (still haven’t exactly gotten a answer as to when America was great for everyone). Our country is in turmoil right now and it needs fixing.

I know writing a book that is meant to entertain might not be the solution to a lot of the systemic issues we are faced with today but in my own small way I’m able to write about a world that I imagine my children will live in. The character in this world fixes issues that directly affect those in his world. If only it was that easy.

But as the title suggest. I’ve finally committed myself…to focusing on just this one series. Tomorrow is a new day and with a new day comes a new opportunity to commit myself to do something else.